rememberjen.com

It’s been seven years. Seven years since I’ve heard you sing. Seven years since I’ve seen your beautiful face. Seven years since I’ve hugged you. Seven years since I’ve kissed your cheek. Seven years since we’ve sat late at night and had a long mother-daughter talk. Seven years since we’ve laughed at the silliest things. Seven years since I’ve heard you say “I love you, Mom”, and I’ve said “I love you, Jen” right back. It’s torture not being able to do these things with you, Jenny. It’s unbearable still, after seven years. I was in NYC on your 7th Heaven Birthday. I couldn’t even put flowers on your headstone this year……thankfully your nephew took care of this. I miss you so much that some days I don’t think I can stand it much longer. It’s funny how, even though you left us seven years ago – the love I have for you, my beautiful daughter, still continues to grow. Do you feel that love in heaven? Do you know how much you are loved and missed? I know you are blissfully happy. I know that you have the pleasure of seeing our Lord Jesus face-to-face. I know this in my head, but my heart still aches….seven years is too long. But it’s only the beginning……

I cannot believe it’s going to be 6 years this Monday since Jennifer left us. That’s an eternity to a mom who hasn’t been able to hug, kiss, talk with, laugh with, dream with……her daughter.

I’ve been working very hard on the 3rd Annual J.A.M. Session, which is a multi-denominational, community praise and worship service sponsored by J.A.M. Ministries. (J.A.M. stands for Jennifer, Austin & Mason. Austin and Mason are two boys who were killed in a car accident almost a year to the day after Jenny died). Our purpose is to raise money to help send area kids to church camps and/or conventions.

In all of the whirlwind of planning, rehearsing and putting things together for this event, I can’t help but think about how much Jen would have LOVED this. Not only the musical aspect, but the unity represented. On this evening, several churches will be joined together, praising our Heavenly Father in one unified voice. How powerful!! Jen would have been so pleased as she always wanted everyone to get along!

The wonder and miracle of this evening will be that, while we are all praising God together, Jen will be doing the same thing in Heaven. How amazing is that??!! In a very real way, that means that Heaven and Earth will be joined in one accord – that means that we will be united with those who have gone before us to Heaven. Jen and the rest of us will be singing together!! God is just SO AWESOME!!!!

Well, it’s the sixth Christmas without Jenny.  We had a wonderful day today with our kids and grand kids, including a brand-new granddaughter.  The day was going amazingly well when all of a sudden it hit me.  I was sitting in the chair in the living room, taking in the blessing of our family, when a ton of bricks hit me:  I miss you, Jenny.  I miss you more and more each year.  Your stocking hangs lonely on the fireplace, void of the treasures that fill the others.  What to do with that stocking?  I can’t not put it out because you still are part of our family.   Yet – you certainly aren’t interested in what I could put in there this side of Heaven!

Jen, I’ve asked our family to brainstorm ways to use your stocking as a giving stocking.  We could use your stocking to collect money for the needy, written blessings for each other, etc.  I know you would want this…..you were always so interested in blessing others.  What an amazing legacy you’ve left for us.

Precious daughter, I hope you have enjoyed another amazing Christmas celebrating with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  I am envious of this….and I can’t wait when the time comes for me to join you.  I hope that where you are you can still feel the love in my heart for you, and how anxiously I await seeing you, hugging you, and hearing you sing again.  I love you precious Jenny -

Mom

Today is Jennifer’s 24th birthday.  So many people ask me “How do you keep going?  You are so strong!”  My answer:  I’m not strong, but “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me”.  Phillipians 4:13.  This has become so real to me in so many ways.  It is only through God sustaining me that I (we) have been able to continue.  He has Jen safe in His arms, now we still have work to do.

I truly believe that we don’t have much time before Christ returns for His bride, the church.  The biblical prophesies leading to this event have been fulfilled – we are only waiting!  It’s so important that we Christians be about the work of living our lives so that we draw people to Him.  The distractions of this life can be so tempting….so….distracting!  However, there are people who don’t know about Jesus, how much He loves them, and what a difference He can make in their lives.  Come on, Christian friends, let’s get to work!!

If you are reading this and don’t know Jesus, and haven’t accepted Him as your Lord and Savior, you just don’t know what you are missing!  Knowing Him is so sweet, so amazing.  He doesn’t promise to keep sad things from happening, but He will walk with you – even carry you through those times when they do happen!  Please, if you have questions, just ask.  I would be more than excited to talk to you about how He has helped me through the toughest times in my life.  He will do the same for you.  And, I want every single person reading this message to spend eternity in heaven with me, Jen, and all of us who have accepted Jesus as their savior.  There are two possibilities of where we will spend eternity:  heaven or hell.  You have the decision – the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ.  The Bible is clear – there is no debate.  Why would you want anything else??!!!

I do miss Jenny more than ever, and I still cry a lot.  But I know that I will see her again.  If not through my leaving this life through the natural process of death, then when Jesus comes to take us away through the rapture…but I WILL see her again.  Until then….just like God told me on that cliff in the Badlands, SD in June of 2004, I still have work to do.  And He has, as promised, walked with me the whole time.  What an amazing thing!!!

Precious Jenny….I miss you.  We’re another year closer to our reunion in Heaven.  Today was difficult, but knowing where you are makes it easier, but five years is still a terribly long time to go without being able to hug you, talk to you and hear you sing.  Still, I’m amazed at how many people whose lives you have touched.  I’m so blessed to have you as my daughter.  Celebrate with the King, Jen.  “Have I told you today how much I love you and how special you are?!!”

Mom

Dear Jenny,

I miss you.

Love, Mom

Well, it’s now been five Christmases without Jen.  I must say, I have to fight off feeling sorry for myself.  I look at my two adorable grandchildren and wonder how much Aunt Jenny would have adored them.  I also wonder how much they are missing out not getting to know her.  She truly would have spoiled them.   What would she be doing now?  Where would she be?

I dreamed of her last night.  She looked just like she did when she left us 4 1/2 years ago.  Beautiful.  Vibrant.  Intelligent.  Sparkly.  That twinkle was in her eye, even in my dream.  She hugged me…..

I have to, as her mother, be thrilled that she gets to celebrate Christmas with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, face-to-face.  How amazing that must be.  She sang for us “I Can Only Imagine”.  She doesn’t need to imagine.  Merry Christmas, my darling daughter.  Oh, how I miss you.

Well, yesterday (8-8-08) was Jenny’s 23rd birthday.  It was the fifth time we’ve celebrated without her, and the second time Tammy and Reda donated enough money to the Christian radio station, WIBI, to dedicate the day to her.  It was bittersweet to hear her name announced over the airwaves in memory of her birthday.  Thank you, Tammy and Reda!

We spent the day at Raging Rivers water park to celebrate Jen’s special day.  We had a blast – of course, Logan (my soon to be 5 year-old grandson) was the hit of the day.  We loved riding the water slides and just laying around in the water.  It was a truly beautiful day.  Sure do wish Jenny could have been here with us…..I enjoyed spending the time with Tiffany.  Being with her helps.  And, of course, my amazing husband, Butch.  Sometimes he just doesn’t know what to do with me!  The day started with me in a pretty tearful mood, but as the day grew, it got better.

God is so good.  Even though things can be really, really tough, He comes and comforts me with his presence.  Just think:  the God who created the universe loves us enough to come and be with us.  That’s why He sent His son Jesus.  That’s why Jesus died for us, so that we can have eternal life with Him in Heaven – if we accept Him as our personal Lord and Savior.  It’s because of this I know that I will see Jenny again.

I don’t know how many more birthdays we will have to celebrate without her here on this earth.  But there will come a day when we will be reunited because of God’s love.  I hope that anyone reading this will truly consider where you will spend eternity.  I would love to see you in Heaven!!

In Christ,

Judy

It’s been four long years since Jen left us.  It’s been so hard – I’ve not posted anything here for years because it’s been too difficult to sit down and think.  But – there is so much I want to share with anyone who is still willing to read about what God is doing in my life – our lives since Jenny went to be with Him in June of 2004.  If you don’t know Him, please continue to read through the next weeks and months.  I will try to be much better at sharing what is happening.  I have two amazing grandchildren:  Logan and Elle, who make life so precious.  Jenny would have made a terrific aunt!  She got to know Logan for the first 9 months of his life, but missed Elle completely.  Our lives have had to continue without Jen being here with us physically, but she sure is in our hearts, and I believe she is aware of what is going on!!

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars,
Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

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